The golden rule of money: “Don’t spend money that you don’t have.”

How are your spending habits? Let’s be honest about ourselves in this massive matter, it feels amazing spending money. Others spend their money and certain individuals might spend other people’s finances.  The question is do you spend it all and then struggle the next day? Or do you spend it sparingly as you know that you have numerous investments portfolios that are lucrative? No one is saying people shouldn’t be spending their money; however, when they hit rock bottom, and start seeking help from other individuals that were never there when it was all peaches and cream then that’s a massive problem. Spending habits can make or break you, however, it depends on what you’re buying. Is it a liability or an asset? That’s what you need to ask yourself whenever you purchase something, especially that’s not part of your budget. 

Some people will say it’s their money and decisions, which is correct. Hence they can do whatever they want with their money, if they want to blow it on expensive items then they have every right to do so. The superb thing about advice is that others don’t need to utilize or practice. There are different people out there that offer all sort of advice when it comes to money, however, it’s up to as an individual if you accept it or not. Now, that’s out of the way, you need to play different scenarios in your head when it comes to money. Ask yourself what will happen if you lose your occupation or your business shutdowns? Do you have finances in place that can sustain your standard of living even after you don’t have your core cash cow anymore? Ideally, you should speak to different trusted professional financial advisors so that you can look at numerous investments options such as, buying properties, shares, venturing into new businesses, etc.

It’s all good that you have an occupation that brings pays you if you’re satisfied with the wages or salaries that’s up to you. However, we hope that you get what you’re worth within the company. There’s always something special about a happy employee or employer. Crazy enough finances play a critical role in maximizing those kinds of happiness. If you’re spending money to impress others, then that’s up to you. The question is how long will you be partaking in such an extreme sport in your life? Truth be told, it doesn’t end well for many people that take the route of spending money that they don’t have in their lives. As they end up getting unnecessary debt that will mess with their credit scores as they end up being blacklisted. If you don’t have enough money at your disposal, why don’t you try to figure out multiple streams of income? Or just try to diversify your current stream of income to get more money out of it? There’s no problem with having an occupation but the issue starts when you’re living beyond your means. Imagine if you get paid $20 000 per month but your spending habits, including your bills, are over $30 000 monthly. 

This means that you end up getting multiple loans (formal and informal loans) to support your lifestyle. Please make it make sense! You’re playing with fire. If you cannot live within your means, then it’s okay to live below your means. Whatever you do, you’re advised to never spend money you don’t. This includes planning for money that you haven’t received, as that might lead to disappointments. Have fun with your money, don’t forget that it doesn’t come easy and there will be sacrifices in your lifestyle that might be needed to get your idea of financial freedom. Make money your friend and familiarize yourself with different aspects of trying to diversify your finances. Ideally, you should earn your money, invest, save and then spend. Times are tough, but do what works for you. That’s if you don’t want to live from hand to mouth.

Over understanding partners get played in a relationship

When you’re in a loving relationship you have to learn to understand certain situations that might occur which are beyond anyone’s control. It’s normal to have some things figured out but you shouldn’t settle for that as you need to get to the bottom of whatever is bothering you. So that you can be able to close down that chapter in your life and get to enjoy the fruits of being on this beautiful earth. If you don’t understand something in a relationship then it’s ideal that you ask questions that you feel will break everything into something worth digesting. The person being asked questions shouldn’t get all defensive and try to insult your intelligence. After all, some situations are easier to understand than others, hence your partner shouldn’t try to manipulate you into thinking you've gone off the rails. All you trying to do is understand what they’re explaining to you and dissecting it is always important.

 

Even though some situations don’t need must probing or explanation, but it doesn’t hurt to have a conversation about things that you think might cause issues later. There’s never a situation that’s regarded as ‘small’ in a relationship, as you don’t know the repercussions of your actions. It might be a ‘small' issue to you but remember you’re not dating yourself, as long as you’re in a relationship you will have to make things clear to your partner through explanations. While you are at it, please make sure that you’re not sweeping any dirt under the carpet, as that will not end well at all. Instead of trying to make your partner understand something, make sure that you’re transparent enough in a way that your partner doesn’t have any doubts. If you aim to make your partner understand something, for once put yourself in their shoes. As they know have to constantly understand everything story you tell them about you, especially when you’re playing a victim and not take any accountability for your actions.

After you’re explaining your situation, then your partners still feel lost, then you hit them with the famous line, “you don’t understand” and “you constantly overreact when I’m telling you something”. Even worse, after you’ve found something that you didn’t know about which they were supposed to tell you from the beginning of the relationship. Or something that occurred within their day or weekend that they’ve lied about and all of a sudden you have to understand. The moment you choose not to tell something your partner that’s when you let it slowly destroy your relationship. If it makes or breaks you then your partner has to know. You cannot pick and choose what to tell or hide from your partner because anything can be deadly in a relationship. Truth be told, your partner can understand to a certain extent and that shouldn’t mean you must expect him to constantly understand your situations only. If it sounds too good to be true, then your partner has every right to question you. Then you should be ready to answer the questions honestly without causing any unnecessary drama.

After all, when you’re over understanding in a relationship you will be a doormat. You shouldn’t be afraid to point out something that doesn’t make sense to you about your partner. Imagine your partner trying to understand the reasons for your infidelity, that’s just absurd! Hence people shouldn’t do something to others that they wouldn’t want them to be done to themselves. Even though love does need some sort of understanding but it doesn’t have to be one-sided. Also, partners shouldn’t be messing with each others’ feelings, understanding might take a lot out of them and that needs to be respected. At the same time, no one deserves to be over understanding as that will lead to being played by their partners. Unfortunately, there are people in relationships that take advantage of their partners since they know their weakest links and that’s not on at all! Hence it should be addressed, if there are no changes then that will lead to a break-up. Let’s all love each other unconditionally and keep ourselves and our partners happy. 

Why most women DON’T deserve GOOD MEN?

Have you ever been in a relationship whereby you think everything is going well? As you're prepared to go all out for your girlfriend then you figured that she's not the person she portrayed herself to be at the beginning of the relationship. That's when you realize that you've been played and made a fool, even though you've done things but being good to her. As a good man, you were able to keep her happy throughout the relationship until the last moment whereby she screwed you over. It can be either she cheated on you, even kept secrets, and constantly lied within the relationships. Also, she was even emotionally, physically, and financially abusive. It doesn't matter what sort of pain that she brought into your life, as there will never be a proper explanation to justify her actions. If you love someone, there's nothing that should lead to hurting your partner. 

Unfortunately, many women will say there are no good men left in this world, which isn't true, since most of them end up not treating them right once they found their prince charming. They just don’t know what to do with them. Remember that most good men know what they want from a woman and a relationship. Everything is clear to them in terms of an ideal partner. They’re not asking for much though, as they mostly prefer women that will know their place in the relationship and stop interfering with things that don’t concern them. Also, they value peace, loyalty, respect, unconditional love, kindness, and patience. A good man can do everything by the book, but still, get heartbroken. Also, most good men are in the friend zone, unfortunately, the majority of women will not bother to even dissect their friendzone list. They'll be surprised how many good men they'll found within their circle.

In most cases, when certain women are at their prime they don't even look at the good man's side, as they feel that they're boring, serious about life, and cannot have fun with them in life. That's when you find the same women chasing bad boys who will leave them heartaches, trauma, and all sort of unresolved issues. After the bad boys are done with these sorts of women that's when they kick them to the curb and move on to the next better women. Then the same hurt women will now seek a good man as they want to settle down and he must heal all her wounds and past traumas. This isn't fair on a good man as he deserves someone who will be able to have a loving relationship with but not try to play a saviour. Ideally, if a woman has been hurt, she needs to take her time and go through the healing process. Not jump from relationships to relationships since that is a recipe for disaster. Everyone deserves to be loved unconditionally, even broken women, however, they should fix their issues first, by cleaning up their dirty closet filled with past traumas. Also, they will have to know what to do with a good man, once they found their Mr Right. 

Nevertheless, if you're a toxic woman then you don't deserve a good man. The crazy thing is you will constantly complain about your love life, as it seems like nothing superb is coming out of it. Then you forget that you're a common denominator, that chooses the wrong men who will promise you the world but even give it to their loved ones and themselves. Empty promises will be the death of many relationships, hence you should take your time when you're thinking about dating. Get to know the person, if they're don't meet your standards, then move on. Keep it real, don't waste each other's time, date with a purpose in mind, which is getting married and starting a family (that's if you want children).

Don’t save her, she doesn’t want to be saved, bro. Stop wasting your valuable assets on her!

The bitter truth is that most men should stop trying to father or brother their partners. It’s a relationship, get that first, meaning you shouldn’t feel like you’re putting in all the work. Meanwhile, your girlfriend is on cruise control and not even worried about you nor the relationship. Every man needs to understand that love is a two-way street, what they do for their partners should be returned, presumably good things only. However, we cannot ignore that relationships have ups and downs. It’s our choice to remain in relationships that make or break us. Ideally, no one deserves to be in any relationship that compromises his happiness and sanity. Hence you will always hear people saying you should always exit toxic relationships. This means you should also know when love isn’t served in a relationship and stop hoping things will change.

Most men might turn a blind eye to certain expects of a relationship, which may leave them deep into trouble. This is visible when most men lower their standards to attract their significant other, which is playing with fire. Imagine taking allowing someone in your life that doesn’t fit the description of what you’re looking for in a relationship. It’s challenging for men to get good women that know what they want in life and relationship. Men like to keep it simple whenever they’re looking for a woman today, it’s usually outer beauty that attracts them to any person. Then what makes them stay in the relationship and even end up taking it to the next step, is inner beauty. The issue starts when most men overlook their needs in the relationship for the sake of their women. Meaning that they don’t care about their feelings and sacrifice every little thing in their lives to provide the life that their partners desire. 

The moment you feel like you’re doing a lot more than what you’re supposed to be doing, then it’s time to do some self-introspection and analyze your relationship. It doesn’t hurt to address this with your partner too. Otherwise, you might be playing yourself and that will lead to heartaches and unnecessary stress. Men should not try to save women in relationships, it doesn’t end well especially if they don’t want to be saved. As they’ll get blamed for everything that’s going wrong in the relationship. All that valuable time, energy, and money that you’re spending on her is a bad investment. Even if you try to knock some sense in her through meaningful conversations trying to uplift her but if she doesn’t want to listen then you’ve wasted your words. As she might turn good conversations into arguments. There’s no way you will get your return of investment when it comes to females that don’t know what they want in life. A lot of men fall into the trap of trying to look after their women, in a way that they forget to notice when they’re in relationships with themselves. 

Without any doubt, not every woman is the same, there are also good ones, which are rare to find. Hence most men that believe in love and marriage don’t hesitate when they meet one, they do everything necessary to tie her down. A household with loving partners breathes nothing but happiness. That turns a house into a home filled with an amazing family. After all, having a superb legacy is something that will always be cherished. Men don’t want an irresponsible woman who lacks self-love, accountability, and resilience to bring their children into this world. Who wants baby mama drama when you can have peace and love with a good woman.

Don’t believe any woman that says her ex-boyfriend has a small d*ck…

If you have social media, then you’ve probably seen a lot of posts about women trolling their ex-partners. It’s a relationship for a reason, which means what things will have to be discussed within the people involved. If things don’t go according to the way everyone plans, then there’s always professional help available. That’s if both partners want things to work out, after all, there are trials and tribulations within love. Bear in mind that it doesn’t involve any sort of abuse, that cannot be regarded as the ups and downs of a loving relationship. Let’s call it what it is, that’s just toxicity.

A trend of certain women talking about their ex-boyfriend’s genitals online has to be one of the worst things that they can do to the person that they claimed they once loved. Even worse when some so-called men entertain such women on social media. As they laugh and share their inhumane opinions within the comment section. Remember that as a man tables might turn tomorrow and it can be you be being dragged online. The “short d*ck” conversations mostly come out after the break-up, as for yourself why? You’ve probably seen posts like this on social media: “Your d*ck was small, hence I left you.” “I don’t talk with guys with tiny d*ck.” “There’s no d*ck print, you want me to starve.” All of this is done on purpose, just to belittle the man online. It’s just a low blow that ends up trending on social media since many people are attracted to negative things.

Also, the “short d*ck” posts shouldn’t be entertained, since most women can lie about it, even if it was long or big, she will still say it was tiny, just to troll you. Ask yourself this question, why didn’t she address this within the relationship and tried to seek help for her man? Why she had to use a public platform to share her personal life? Relationships are all about getting better together, it has to involve teamwork and problem-solving skills. It’s not just about loving your partner in good times and then making fun of him in bad times. The “short d*ck” posts shouldn’t be getting any attention from males unless they’re trying to school the women. As a woman, if you’ve tried everything to help your ex-boyfriend sort out his private part issues and nothing good came out of it. Then there’s no need to spread his business all over social media or anywhere for that matter. Just separate in peace and live your best lives. No need to talk and post about your ex-partner. It’s over, move on, no validation or joy comes out of disrespecting others.

You don’t have to react or share your opinion on things that doesn’t concern you

There are always things happening in this world, some are good and others are just horrible. However, it’s up to you what you do with the things you see, read, and even hear. At times we may experience things physically as human beings, and what matters after that is how we react to those things. It’s easier to point the figure at the next person, however, you forget about the role that you played in what has happened to you. Ideally, it’s always crucial that you protect your peace by not engaging in things or discussions that won’t grow you as a person tomorrow. At times you may lose and you find yourself in an awkward situation, then your next move will determine your faith. Before even making a decision you should look at all possible consequences of each step you take. We cannot only pay full attention to decisions and forget the possible results of our actions.

Yes, everyone here on earth has their own life and that’s fine. The issue begins when there are altercations and that’s when people’s true colours come out. How you speak and act tells a lot about you, hence you should try to be on your best behaviour. You don’t want to say or do something that you will later regret. Believe me, there’s nothing fun about living on regrets and wondering about “what if?”. All of that won’t help you in your life, anything that brings stress isn’t ideal for you. Taking care of your thoughts, body and words build you to be the best version of yourself. Remember that only you know where you want to be in the future, in terms of your career, health, family, friendship, finances, spirituality (if you believe in it), and even commitments.

Firstly, not everything that you see online is directed at you, if it was then it would have your name and surname attached to it. Hence you shouldn’t be offended by the things you see or read online. Even when you hear people talk about you behind your back, there’s nothing you can do about that, as they don’t have the nerves to say it straight to your face. All you’re doing is cultivating your environment, as you know that your circle will affect you in your future somehow. Ideally, you should be aware of who you associate yourself with in life. It’s okay to have friends, as long as they don’t force you to do what you don’t want. It’s crucial to be independent even when you’re with your peers and make your own decisions in life. Be ready to take full responsibility for your actions too. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s something that you have to work on every day. Holding yourself accountable for everything that happens to you will save you moving forward. As you will learn different ways of overcoming trials and tribulations.

At the end of the day, only you know what’s right for you, and remember that you don’t have to take in everything that you’re told. Just utilize what will work for you, and no one’s a master of life. We learn as we go and we also, acquire different knowledge from others as well, it doesn’t matter if they’re old or young. Without any doubt, minding your business will save your energy and time. The back and forth fighting and arguing won’t help anyone. You don’t want to mess with your health, just make sure you take good care of yourself. Remember that you only got one life, please make it count. Whatever you do, please make yourself proud.  

I've taken a long one-year hiatus from blogging and here's why

You know what they say, life happens. I've been reminiscing about making a come back to blogging for a while now. I've had a lot of time on my hands ever since I've lost my occupation, thanks to the Covid-19 pandemic. One thing I'm grateful for is that I'm still alive and I still have a shot at changing my life for the better. It has been challenging having to adjust to the new normal. I still struggle getting used to wearing a mask every time I'm in public and also, practising social distancing. It's a great challenge though since we've just entered into different waves within the country. 

I make sure that I wear my mask every time I'm out and out within this beautiful country called South Africa. Even though I've minimized my movements for my health. When it comes to hygiene, I didn't have an issue with constantly washing and sanitizing my hands. I have the portable sanitiser that I keep in my pocket. Amid Covid-19, I've learned to spend more time with my loved ones and practise more self-love. Before the pandemic, I was caught up with working and putting in extra shifts to get more money every month. I lost myself chasing money, I had no time to check up on my loved ones. I didn't even have time for myself, all I did was mostly being at work. I felt like I was part of the furniture since I was there six times a week and even seven days at some point. 

I failed at balancing my work and personal life. When the country went to the level 5 lockdown towards the end of March 2020, that's when I got exposed that I had nothing else to do rather than work. I even dumped the hobbies that I had just to focus on my occupation and provide for my family and myself. Who was going to pay the rent? Who was going to buy the food? Who was going to pay for all the utilities? I've taken up the role of being a sole provider at home and I had to do it all. When I've lost the job, that's when I felt like I lost my voice within myself and my family. What even made me more furious was that I lost my love for blogging too.

I can't believe that I've been away from blogging for about 14 months. That's just crazy and I've been constantly thinking about what I'll write about as I had writer's block. I think I've overcome it by posting this piece which is filled with emotions. I barely share what's on my mind since I usually dissect a topic or what's happening in the entertainment industry. Things will have to change now for the better, as I will have to share different thoughts on my mind in the hope it will touch someone's life out there. One thing I've realized since I've been away from blogging is that I love writing and I will do whatever it takes to become better at it. What's exciting is that I am now doing this on a full-time basis, and foresee nothing but success. I am open to collaborations with different people and brands. I'm looking forward to doing sponsored posts too and even writing services. Please do email: scarcitysa@gamil for any business inquiries.

I just want to grow this blog and hopefully, it becomes one of the best in the world. Let's go on a blogging journey together. I hope you enjoy your stay on The Blog That Rocks!