Monday, September 17, 2018

Relationships Deal Breakers For Men: Part 2.

Written By Sivuyile Tshalana.

Men do not have many relationship deal breakers, like women do and some of the deal breakers are the same for both genders. Men can have certain characteristics they would like in their ideal relationship and in their minds but end up not following it only because men are usually not fussy about ticking each and every box on their preference list. Many men fall in love with the physical appearances of their partners (also known as outer beauty), before they even get to know their partners better in terms of their inner beauty (personality). It is understandable though, because men are the ones who approach their partners first, if they have been rejected a lot by other people that they fell for but they declined them, then many men end up settling for less and not following their ideal partners criteria. Most men are actually pressured into relationships, if they are single their peers pick on them and make them feel like something is wrong with them and that they are not manly enough to be regarded as men in their societies. So some men enter into relationships not ready mentally, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually which leads to deal breakers within their relationships.

These are relationships deal breakers for men in no particular order. Poor sex or no sex at all, whereby men are not satisfied in the bedroom when it comes to sexual activities or the sex life within the relationship is missing in action (M.I.A). Lack of communication, wisdom and knowledge within the relationship, partners do not check-in with each other in terms of talking with one another. Lack of vision and commitment, whereby their partner do not have dreams about their future together, they live for the moment and do not stick to their words. Misunderstandings, getting the wrong ideas or impressions about their partner. Long distance relationship, when their partner does not stay where they stay and they hardly see their partner. Cheating, unhygienic and an untrustworthy partner. Lack of transparency, whereby they are not able to see through their partner. Seeing other people as better or have what their partner does not have, basically wanting someone they do not have which is plain greediness and lust. Boredom, some men feel that knowing they partner well can be boring, because they know their partner’s routines that they do everyday and others feel their partner becomes a snob, hence they seek for a new challenge.

One of the relationships deal breakers for men is the decisions that was made before they met their partner. Like meeting people that they liked but cannot be with them, because of different paths that they chose, culture and religion. For example some men cannot date someone who have more children then they do, especially if it is from their previous relationships and others do not even date people who have children already. Hence decisions that their partner makes or has made can be a relationship deal breaker for men. One way or the other, men has came across such deal breakers and it costed them their relationships going forward. Joy Qholosha summed it up in one sentence by saying, “if you do not communicate, you end up not trusting your partner and that leads to lack of sex”.
Relationship deal breakers are something that can be avoided so that your relationship can last longer. It is a two way street, both partners need to be on the same page and relationships are not something that just happens, it is a lot of hard work everyday and you choose to be with your partner each day. You cannot be comfortable within the relationship because it is so unpredictable especially when you are in love you live in the moment, but most people do not want to believe that, it is up to them and their partner to make their moments last forever for the both of them. At the end they will rip the rewards of getting a life partner and love wins everyday.

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